A New Start

So this morning I ended up having a cry/complain to my mum because I'm freaking out about going to university. In just under a month I will be moving out of the house I've lived in all my life and going to university 3 hours away from home. It'll be my first time living on my own, totally relying on myself to cook, clean, organise and generally live well. For the first time ever I'll have an extended period of time where I am in charge of me and no one else can tell me what I have to do when. It's scary. I think I'm ready for that independence, though. I know I can do it, I almost do it now, just with a little support from my mum. I have about 3 different diary/calender things to keep me organised. That part isn't what I'm most scared about.

I'm most scared about being around new people who I don't know and who don't know me. I've lived in one place all my life; I've had the same best friend since I was 4 and I have a solid group of friends who I know will always be there for me. It's the people around me who I really value and they're the people I'll really miss. What scares me most is going there and not having any friends when I get there. I know I'm not very good at talking to new people and holding conversations so I find it hard to make friends. That scares me and that was the main reason why I was upset this morning.

However, I found that my mum's attempts at comforting me didn't help because I managed to just come up with something negative for every positive she came up with. That's just the mindset I'm in right now. However, I know I can't just have these thoughts going round and round in my head as they have been. It's not healthy and it just ends in an argument or upset. So I've decided to work it out the best way I know how: writing about it. This blog is going to be me going through the steps of moving and finding myself at university, writing out my problems in the hope that I can find an answer or some comfort through it.

I'm starting a new blog for my journey to my new start. Right now I'm scared about it, slightly dreading the process of getting there and all the emotions that will come with it. I don't want to have to deal with it but I know I have to soon so I need to make myself do it. I need to go through this process and come out the other end stronger than ever because its the journey, not the destination that really matters.