1. It can significantly improve your relationship wit your parents. Now that I'm here, I skype my mum every day. I probably have never gone a day without talking to my mum ever. I love that. Now though, its a different type of talk. Its more open and more like I'm talking to a friend that a parent who is superior and in charge. I love that development.
2. High expectations lead to disappointment. After being here a few weeks almost always upset about not having found my special group of friends that I've always wanted so badly I realised that my expectations were way to high for uni. I was constantly being told how much I would love it and how I would make the best friends and everything would be great. Then, when I got here and found myself with friends that weren't the same type of person as me and didn't completely understand me straight away I was disappointed. I expected to find those people who instantly get you and like the same things as you straight away. No surprise that I didn't really. But its okay, I've come to appreciate that the friends I have are still great people who I can feel good spending time with and that's good. Sure, I'm still slightly disappointed that I haven't found "my weirdos" but its okay. I have my group back at home still and I have new people who I can spend time getting to know.
3. Things won't be permanent. This is more of a reminder than a lesson for me. So often at the moment it feels like this is the way that its going to be for the rest of my time here. But its not. Its going to change. I'm only in this room until May and then in September I'm going to be living somewhere different that I don't know yet. I will meet new people through things such as placement and social events. It will change and I'm ready for it.
4. Sometimes you just need to write an internal monologue. I opened my wreck this journal one day to the page that says write an internal monologue here and so I did. It was the best decision I have ever made. I have so many thoughts going round in my head sometimes that it can get very hard to think and be coherent or useful in any way. I've found that when I get like this I just need to sit and write every thought that comes to me. Sure, each one gets replaced by another as soon as its on the paper but it helps. It helps so much. I found I had gotten into this mentality that a thought doesn't matter if it isn't shared with someone but now I disagree. Its different from a diary entry because there is no commitment like there seems to be in a diary but its as therapeutic as one and I love it.
5. I like my independence. I've been wanting some sort of independence from my old life for years and now that I've got it I like it....mostly. Sure, I miss being looked after: having my clothes washed for me and my meals cooked but I can do those things, even if I don't like it. I like being able to just sit on my laptop and decide what I want to do with my time no matter the time of day. I like having that full free will of living independently from someone who is looking after me. As much as I can't be bothered with it every now and again, I like it.
6. I am okay on my own. This weekend will be the first weekend that I am in the flat on my own. It will be the first time I am going out and not telling anyone about it because there is no one there to tell. Its a bit lonely at times but its also nice. When we first moved in, our friends in our flat were very much like a substitute family, and still are to an extent. When you go out you usually tell one of them or ask them to come with you, very much like I did at home with my mum. Now I don't have that. I don't have the security of someone knowing where I am but I'm okay with it. It feels quite nice, not reporting to anyone. I wouldn't like to have it permanently just yet but its a nice change just to know that I can do it.
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